My Savannah Banana

Sometimes I find myself talking about Savannah in a way that makes her sound like she is just a full time pistol. That's not the case. I am beyond blessed to have Savannah and I wouldn't change her for the world. The thing that has been hard for me, is getting over my own ego. That sounds terrible too, so let me explain. Before I became a mom, I was a "perfect mom". I thought I had everything figured out. I knew exactly how I was going to raise my kids. Well, Savannah was and is a game changer. She knows exactly what she wants, when she wants it. Any time I try to address an issue the way I had always imagined I would, it is unsuccessful and I feel often as though I am failing her. I want her to be and behave a certain way when in reality, she is right now, exactly who she is meant to be. I need to learn to focus all her energy in the right direction so she can be successful rather then trying to navigate her life into a direction that wasn't meant for her. I know Savannah will grow up to be one extremely powerful, successful woman regardless of what she decides to do. Whenever I see this quote I think of her. 

She can and will move mountains. She is smart, she is sweet, she is my motivation, she is one of my teachers and I am blessed. Here is a small list of things I adore about Savannah. 

1) I love how she gets out of bed in the morning and immediately RUNS to my room. She is so eager to start everyday and learn and do new things. 

2) I love the way her eyes squint when she smiles at me. She smiles with every inch of her face.

3) I love the way she purses her lips and looks down out of the corner of her eye when she asks for something she thinks she can't have or has done something I asked her not to do. 

4) I love when she sings because that is a passion her and I share and I so see myself as a little girl singing loud and annoying all my siblings. It also turns out that annoying voice is now one of my greatest gifts and I know it will be one of hers too.

5) I love watching her dance around the kitchen with her eyes closed to Taylor Swift. Every time I get teary eyed because I know these days are fleeting and I know how bad I will miss them. 

6) I love how eager she is to help me with anything that involves Aubree. She has been the best big sister since day 1 and has done nothing to Aubree except completely adore her.

7) I love the random quiet moments when Savannah just wants to hold me. She wraps her long arms around my neck and I can feel her heart beating against mine and I can run my hands thru her silky fine hair. 

8) I love when she talks to baby Aubree and she is mimicking me. It's nice to know that as much as I can lose my cool and get frustrated that she hears the sweet part of my voice. 

9) I love her energy! It tuckers me out but she truly loves tackling every adventure. 

10) I love how she teaches me. She is teaching me on a daily basis to be flexible, humble, forgiving and patient.

I love my Savannah Banana with all my heart and pray that I can be everything she needs and deserves. I want to do right by her and provide her with the environment she needs to grow. I hope she never loses her curiosity. I hope I can learn to speed up instead of trying to slow her down and I pray that she will stay strong and fearless. Most of all I pray that I can be become the mother I need to be and let go of the idea of what I was "suppose to be".